LISA BROOKES KIFT, MFT

Helping people resolve personal issues and experience satisfying relationships.

The Toolbox at LisaKiftTherapy.com

Mental Health, Relationship, Counseling and Therapy Related Resources

Most simply stated, empathy is the ability to put oneself in another's shoes - and also the willingness to respond to the person's needs. I believe it's one of the most important components of a happy, healthy relationship. Lack of empathy is a very common problem with couples. Many people never learned how to be empathetic from their primary caregivers or weren't modeled empathy by other important people in their lives. The good news is - it can be taught.

Here are 5 tips to start practicing empathic communication when discussing a difficult subject:

1) Listen without interruption as your partner describes his/her feelings about the subject.
2) Pause and imagine how your partner might be feeling.
3) Reflect back what the partner has said in regards to their feelings such as, "It sounds like you're saying your upset because..."
4) Validate their feelings such as, "I understand that you're upset..." You don't have to get why - just allow them to have their feelings.
5) Offer support by saying something like, "Let's try to figure this out together."

This type of dialogue takes practice but is a valuable tool in the long term. The payoff of empathic communication is well worth it - and a key component of a strong relationship foundation.

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Questions about your own relationship? Ask Lisa for free Relationship Advice.

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The Toolbox Relationship Library: Articles, Tips and Tools

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• 3 Mistakes Couples Make in Relationship Counseling
• Healthy Relationships: Assessing the Emotional Safety
• 10 Characteristics of Successful Relationships
• Setting Boundaries for Yourself by Saying "No"
• Tips to Survive a Partner's Difficult Family
• Is Your Relationship Out of Balance?
• Practicing Empathy With Your Partner in an Argument
• How to Stop Being a "Fixer"

The Toolbox Mental Health Library: Articles, Tips and Tools

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• Ways to Stay Relaxed Throughout Your Day
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• 3 Tools for Effective Anger Management
• The First Individual Therapy Session: What to Expect
• Understanding Anxiety Disorders
• Stress Management for Professionals
• Calming the Spinning Thoughts of Anxiety
• Has Your Therapist Had Their Own Therapy?
• 6 Secret Qualities of Happy People
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• 3 Tools to Manage Depression
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